When it's a one-way street...part 5

[Accuray]

what if I'm the narcissist and I'm the one with the blinders?

A good thing to think about for anyone, not just for you.

In brutal honesty CV, I do believe that your image of your husband is so poisoned at this point that he can do no right. I understand it annoys you, but falling asleep and snoring while watching a movie at home could be viewed as a fairly minor infraction right?

It does feel to me like you have a very distinct set of expectations for what a husband should be, and you feel he falls short on virtually all of them.

I also believe that if he steps up in some areas, you're going to continue to focus on his shortcomings.

That's probably not news to you since you categorize yourself as a WAW.

Is it fair to say that you're not really looking for anything to change, you're mainly here looking for support in ways to cope?

I believe that your H is difficult to live with, and I believe that he doesn't give you the respect, love, or affection that you believe is your due -- but I also believe that your impression of him is so far gone, that there's nothing HE can do to turn this around.

Your situation frustrates me, because I would love to learn if there was anything that would be meaningful to H to motivate him to better meet your needs, and if he were to start to do so, if you would give him a chance.

I feel like we got a glimpse of that when you complimented him and he then went out and fixed the side of your house. That whole episode seemed very positive, but it didn't seem to have any legs to it and didn't keep going.

I would guess that he is also hurt and frustrated.

One interesting exercise might be to think about how he would describe your marriage? What would he say about you and how he is treated?

Would you agree with his characterization? Would you care? (I think you would)

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