Stopped by because you asked but I don't that I have a lot to give right now. So I will tell you what's been told to me.
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I know I need to give her space but I am worried that moving so far back will just push her to the advances of the boss.
to detach is the opposite of everything we think we should do. the normal reaction when someone wants space is for us pursue. you have to stop being the pursuer so that she can have time to think. Someone explained it to me like this people don't want to be sold something they want to think they made the choice and purchase. It is only through space that she can decide what she wants. The best way I finally got it was "do you want someone you pushed to be with you or do you want someone who chose to be with you?"
As hard as it sounds you can't dote or spend time with or show her love because right now she wants space. Show her that you CAN dote and spend time with by doing that with your kids.
She is sorting and processing and coming to terms. If you are there clouding that process she's associate you with negative feelings.
nothing you can say to her will change her mind toward you but it can do a lot of damage against you. Remember that when you're about to send a text or make a phone call haha
if you read back your posts a lot of them are what is she thinking, what is she doing, what does she want me to do, what can I do for her with a smattering of your kids thrown in. Shift it to you! What have you learned about yourself...for instance what's your love language what do you need and how do you show? What are your faults, fears, insecurities? How can you work on them?