On Sunday when H came to pick up the kids he did mention that our flex spending acct for our health insurance was going to be reloaded with a certain amount in July. And also that next January he will be getting a 14% raise at work. I mention this because he almost talks like I will still be in his future. Because these are things you tell your WIFE.
If he was planning on ending things with me then he wouldn't even bother letting me know of these things because 1) I wouldn't be on his health insurance anymore and 2) why would he want to have to pay me more in child support and offer up that information about the raise? Just some observations...
Well, the FSA could be in reference to the kids. The raise could be him unknowingly reaching out for a response of pride from you. (I said could, this is totally mindreading, I don't know). My H mentioned something very recently about his retirement account doing well. Why would he tell me this? I asked him some questions - do you pick the accounts? He said yes. I said that must feel good to have picked that and to see it doing well. In the past I don't think I would have validated him like that. But he seemed to respond well to that. This may not be helpful to you, but I thought I'd note it here. If the raise is for performance, maybe it wouldn't hurt to mention the next time to you talk to him about things, hey, I wanted to tell you before, congrats on the raise, you must feel really good about that/I'm sure you deserve it for your hard work/etc. Just a thought.
As for the not-dating, I'm glad you're feeling good but I wonder if someone else will be by with a 2x4 shortly for using someone else as the way for you to feel worthy about yourself. I'm not one to talk, as I'm ordering Codependent No More soon. It's good that you feel good and it's good that you are starting to feel like H is a fool, but it shouldn't be because someone else made you feel worthy. You need to make yourself feel worthy. There, that's my toothpick instead of a 2x4.
