I think piecing is hard. I know that once I made peace inside with myself about his impending move out, I started thinking to myself, that at least I will not have to deal with his insanity anymore. I won't have to take the shark eyes, the emotional distancing, and the coldness. Making the decision that I was going forward without him is what gave me a sense of strength and although the thought of being single again terrified me, I just wanted an end to his emotional abuse and the hell I was going through.

I didn't know how we were going to glue things back together either, but it's happening by the grace of God, learning to communicate again, and an excellent counselor. We do hit bumps, we are not perfect, and we are dealing with a lot of feelings.

I can tell you that when he decided to stay it produced a different type of anxiety in me, and a fear of not wanting to go through that hell again. I really had to dig deep inside and decide for myself if I wanted to stay with him and go through this. Because this is huge for me too. He turned our lives upside down.... nothing will be the same between us. No matter how much counseling we have. There will always be that memory of last summer, but we can overcome it by becoming closer and working on the M.

The thing that comes into focus once the WAS wants to stay and work through it, is...... what caused this break down in the first place and addressed, and things have to change. The positive changes you make, you want to keep.

Then there are new boundaries and understandings that take place. It's bit by bit. But I know that we are healing.

WHG, I still think you are way too accessible to your w, for her to even have time to ponder her life. Although things are stressful for her, she still has you as her cushion.

Maybe it's time for a babysitter to come into play here for a few nights of the week. Or, change up how the week nights (school nights) are dealt with. Such as, you keep the kids with you, rather than going into her home all of the time, then you take them to school in the morning and she pick them up.

You being in her home all of the time, does not sound healthy to me, but that's just my opinion. There needs to be a spatial boundary that still does not exist.