I asked him what are your plans as far as R. He said he doesn't want me to hold on to hope because it's not fair for me. However he didn't give me a definite answer.
I said I would like to know because I want to know if I should move on from this. For us, the best situation is to have him home but if that's not what he chooses, then I respect it. I said, I also appreciate all your help with the kids yet there does need to be a time for me (no contact) to heal.
He seemed very struck by this. I said it would be temporary. I don't know how long but long enough where I can feel completely detached. It's too difficult for me to respect his choice not to live with us if he comes over 3 times a day.
He called after. worried about how I was doing. I was VERY good. AND I WASN'T "ACTING AS IF". I finally feel really really good. cuz I know that for 10 months I fought for my marriage. For 10 months I put my marriage first for my children and for my marriage and now I get to put myself first.
My plan, to gradually do the no contact. First, no bedtime visits. Then no morning visits. Next, no afternoon visits. Finally biweekly visitation on weekends. I let him know we can go back to more visits once I'm ready.
I feel sooo good! absolutely No regrets!
M 42 H 39 T10 (-2yrs separation) S8 D5 DD 7/30/11 (EA&PA) Reconciled 6/2013 Separation in works 1/2017
