I know that I don't want to be that person. I don't want to be emotionally unavailable I want to trust I don't want to put my partner thru tests I don't want to be afraid of being vulnerable (this always having to have my way) I don't want to sabotage or be self destructive. I want to respect him and myself.
I've spent the last 10 hours feeling like I've been put thru the wringer. The past 5 I've been crying on and off. Ugly cry. Feeling defeated hopeless worthless and horrible. The other time I've uneasy or panicky around him.
