I honestly feel like that's what I've been trying to do for almost 2 months now. But you're right he's telling me it's not enough.
I don't resent him. And I don't feel like I could because I blame myself so much. I feel about 2 inches tall. I know what you mean that it would help all this pain I feel right now if I got angry at him and focused on the list of changes he hasn't made.
I can put his needs before mine. This is all a process of growing for me. I think I've always been selfish and gotten my own way. I want to do this. I feel like my heart will be wide open for the trampling on...but I suppose I did that to his heart for awhile. I can't take it all back but I wish I could.
I'm scared. I'm scared this relationship will advance/continue, she'll get pregnant whatever. And I'll be here hurting and hurting. And I have no right to anything right now. I've lost him.
And on top of being scared I feel horrible, really really horrible. I feel responsible for the sitch we're in. And like I don't deserve a second chance. He's happy.
