those questions have had a positive effect on my R with my WAS.
But YOU'RE not the WAS. That was my only point.
Quote:
why do you want to stay married to your H if you're so unhappy?
The answer is more in line with "Why do I not want to get divorced?" Because I would prefer not to have to split holidays with my son. I would prefer to not have to sell my house and move away from my beloved neighbors. I would prefer not to have to put my family and friends through that. Most of all, I would prefer not to have to put my son through it. I made a vow I would prefer not to break. There are many, many reasons why I don't want to get divorced. I don't have any reasons why I want to stay married - to him.
I would very definitely prefer to be married -- to a friend, a confidant, someone to grow old with; to look forward to being together, instead of him being someone I try to avoid; to have satisfying sex finally before I'm too old to enjoy it. These things seem impossible with my H. So I'm willing to sacrifice the joys of M in order to avoid the pitfalls of D. I'm just trying to figure out how to make that work, if it's even possible.
But just like the lure of a warm, loving, romantic scene on TV, I read posts on this sight and the efforts and the successes, and it makes me think it might be possible for me to have something better in my R. I want that. I crave it. Nothing in my sitch seems to work like anyone else's. I can at least relate to Accuray's sitch, but I don't believe I could live that life. I've lived too many years in a R that was all about him, I just don't have it in me to give more, and it's still without reciprocation.
I guess I just keep hoping and praying for that elusive "cure;" that simple bit of advice that really changes things for good; that there's someone with my sitch that can tell me what worked for them and actually have it work for me.
