Thank you twom for the kind words. it does feel like being gutted and left alive...while you W stands over you laughing. All I can say is try not to control your W, we can't...we can only control ourselves and our own happiness. My W needs to come to this realization on her own...only then would we even have a chance at R...because our old lives are gone, we cannot go back to that. Only when we both begin to focus on our own happiness, which I am begginning to do, will anything ever get any "better".
I'm convinced my with is in a MLC but that doesn't excuse my role in all this. She needs some serious time to reflect and that may mean we'll never have a chance together. But I know there is still love between us and that we are meant to grow old together, whether in this life...or the next. That's a tough feeling to have when one is trying to move on and GAL...but I can't help it, it's what I feel. Unfortunately, it's going to be one long, bumpy road...but I'm ready for it. I have no choice, do I?
Hang in there my friend...take heed to the wonderful insight and advise this site offers. It can be a life saver.
Me:44, W: 39 D:16, D:14, D:11(special needs) M:17, T:21+ Bomb:3/18/12 W contacted mediator for D:3/27/12 Separate since bomb Mediation, signed agreement 5/17/12 No talk of D since mediation
And by the way...my letter to her was more of a road map as how our R can be in the future, not so much to remind her of the past. The past I wrote of was my sincere apology of how I played a role in all this. she doesn't want to think of the past, only upsets her more and gives her more fuel that this is all my fault. This road map may serve me well if ever my W, or STBXW, realizes what she's done...and that we actually did have something special. This may cause her to pick up that phone just to see how I'm doing...and maybe meet up for a bite...or just a drink.
Me:44, W: 39 D:16, D:14, D:11(special needs) M:17, T:21+ Bomb:3/18/12 W contacted mediator for D:3/27/12 Separate since bomb Mediation, signed agreement 5/17/12 No talk of D since mediation
Can someone please stop me from emailing my STBXW in the morning to wish her a wonderful day...PLEASE!
I never get a response, she could care less whether I have a wonderful day or not...STOP IT!
Me:44, W: 39 D:16, D:14, D:11(special needs) M:17, T:21+ Bomb:3/18/12 W contacted mediator for D:3/27/12 Separate since bomb Mediation, signed agreement 5/17/12 No talk of D since mediation
Thanks for setting me straight guys...and helping get me out of crazytown.
Me:44, W: 39 D:16, D:14, D:11(special needs) M:17, T:21+ Bomb:3/18/12 W contacted mediator for D:3/27/12 Separate since bomb Mediation, signed agreement 5/17/12 No talk of D since mediation
Just thought I'd check in....haven't emailed or called W in 5 days. Woo-Hoo! I will see her today though because I'm taking my girls out of town for the weekend, as if!
Me:44, W: 39 D:16, D:14, D:11(special needs) M:17, T:21+ Bomb:3/18/12 W contacted mediator for D:3/27/12 Separate since bomb Mediation, signed agreement 5/17/12 No talk of D since mediation
Fantastic work TD! GAL means working on yourself for yourself. You still love your wife of course so don't think about seeing other people. We're taught through movies and songs that the right person will make us happy. We have to be happy inside first with ourselves before we can give to a R.
Picked up the girls and we are now on our weekend trip...having fun. I think I did well picking them up...was very upbeat and excited about the trip...only said hello to W and only stayed for a couple of minutes while the kids loaded up their stuff. Didn't say anything else to her...just focused on kids and excitement of going away - didn't even say goodbye, or have a nice weekend.
W called this morning to let me know the phone number she'll be at...her families lake house. Didn't pick it up and haven't called or emailed either. This GAL...and "as if" mentality is tough...but I think it's doing me good.
Me:44, W: 39 D:16, D:14, D:11(special needs) M:17, T:21+ Bomb:3/18/12 W contacted mediator for D:3/27/12 Separate since bomb Mediation, signed agreement 5/17/12 No talk of D since mediation
Oh yeah...W told me that the A/C isn't working in the house...going to be in the 90's for at least the next week. Normally I would take care of it...either try to fix it or be the one to call a repairman and be there when they arrived. Poor thing...I wonder what she's going to do.
She's taken just about everything I have...my kids, my home, my money, given me our debt...my life. If she asks me to help pay for it...I'm going to laugh...tell her this is what she wanted...good luck. Of course I'll be very cheerful and upbeat about it.
Me:44, W: 39 D:16, D:14, D:11(special needs) M:17, T:21+ Bomb:3/18/12 W contacted mediator for D:3/27/12 Separate since bomb Mediation, signed agreement 5/17/12 No talk of D since mediation
