@Bklyn - Excellent advice. Casual business with positive reinforcements are good.
@Rick - IMO it's only a big deal to her because I'm on HER insurance vs. Cobra. She didn't like the whole financially contributing to the family part of it.
She wants me to make a move. And it's time I make one.
@Scaredsilly - That would be my guess too. Because the rate is going up, the family part is going up which means she will have to pay more.
She doesn't know what I'm going to do. I've been acting very out of character for her with my new boundaries. She has lost control and it scares her. (she's admitted that part).
and I totally understand that. The feeling I fight with her is - "That doesn't give you the right to speak to me that way" and that's a feeling I need to control.
@JS - I have looked into other options but you and Rick are right - I need to figure this out.
I'm already starting to come up with a gameplan. I hope to be in the union in the next 2 yrs. I was using Cobra as an interim plan.. because the last time I looked - independent health insurance wasn't an option for me.
But I really appreciate y'all keeping me accountable. Last night I went on a 3 mi run to just purge the emotions. For personal reasons - there are ALOT when it comes to the health insurance.
I WILL continue to let go on my anger and need to "show her" I WILL wait another 24 yrs to let my emotions settle. (Great rule for everyone to follow!) I WILL treat her how I want to be treated regardless on if she notices or does the same
And most importantly I WILL ACCEPT that things are finalizing and wrapping up for a reason.. and it is a good one.
That there are bigger and better plans for me than limboland and the pain of this D.
M(f): 40 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
