Didn't think I'd have to come back...

[FreeBird0120]

It's been really awkward at home. My emotions tend to get the best of me and my immediate reaction is to shut down. We tell each other we love each other, we hold each other at night before bed, and he holds me in the morning when we wake up, but it just feels so fake and forced. He's dealing with major emotional and mental issues, and of course so am I.

Just tried calling his work cell and he was on the other line...I've yet to hear back from him. I know I have no proof it was her, but it's a definite trigger for me.

Just want to stop feeling this ugly dark feeling...I want to be his one and only and truly feel that, but I don't...is he staying out of obligation? Does he have true deep seeded feelings for her and that's why he can't let her go?

I found out that she is leaving her H, and that has me terrified that H will want to make it work with her...

I've never been more terrified and alone in my life...