Not sure where to start, Part 3

[LIO]

Hi wishing, hoping!
I admit this is going to read kind of harsh. Please know that I am supporting you - and I do know what you are going through with H. However I'm worried that you are spending too much time focusing on what H is doing, and YOUR reaction to it. You will drive yourself mad.

It will take him waking up to wake up. We can't control that.
OW doesn't deserve your energy, your thoughts. Neither does your H at this point. He is choosing to live life his way. And you are right, he doesn't have consideration for your feelings. He's not capable atm because he's too wrapped up in his own.

But you have control over your reactions. And yes, it will bother you - but to what degree will you let it?

BUT, what are you up to today?
That is something you can control.

I looked outside and he was on the phone. I am sure with OW. He was probably looking for sympathy or complaining about me because I am sure it was my fault that the branch fell off the tree and that he had to mow the lawn. Boy I am glad I am not living in his head.

But you are. Rather, you are letting imagined conversations in your head. You are giving him YOUR power. Don't. So he whines to OW for having to do grown up things... makes for a real attractive man doesn't it? "Oh my wife is doing xyz... whaahhhhh" If she were smart, she'd realize that 'wife' can EASILY be replaced by OW's name, or that YOU aren't going anywhere, and *THIS* is her future, always having to hear about you and what you are up to (so make it a good story of all the stuff YOU'VE wanted to do!) . But since she is a OW, we know that she isn't that smart!