Hi all, especially Raindeer long time no see!! I hope your holiday was good and that you moved closer to your goals.
You all asked about my goals so here they are:
1. Give up smoking: New place, good chance to break a bad habit.This would be a 180! Progress on this one not so good! To much drinking by far!
2. Continue with fitness training: Go for a run/walk each morning. Go to gym 3 nights a week This will also help with goal 1. I will drink more water and less coffee! I'm doing this one with ease, its really only my normal rountine anyway.
3.H and i will continue to grow close: I will ring him every other day and ask open questions to promote conversation between us. I will limit work talk (H complains that i talk about work alot) I will take notice of articles etc that H might be interested in as a conversation piece. H will call me just to chat and see how i am. H will txt/phone to say goodnight. I will not hound H about 'doing' things at home, i will trust that he will do them. Well, we have spoken every day this week infact he expects it. As far as conversing though, still not as good as i would like. The thing is that i ask h alot of open q's and it's not really working. Need to try something new here.
Any hoo, i'm enjoying my course and having a blast! It is giving me time to see where i want this to go. H is really irriating me. The first day i was away, he rings me telling me how miserable he is etc and really trying to make me feel guilty for being here and not at home. It makes me cross that H trys to make me responsible for his happiness. He didn't give two hoots about me and how i was when he moved 2000km away. At least i ring him and maintain a care of him! I'm really flip floping about weather i want this to work between us or not. Each has its pro's and con's. I guess i've lost so much respect for my H and now with his winey, moaning attitude it is just making me want out of it all the more. Sounds wierd, i know! He blames all and sundry for why he isn't where he wants to be in life. Right now i just don't see the man i married and i know that this new man isn't the one i want.
Sorry, this has just turn into a big vent session! Just having one of those down moments, they pass.
Raindeer, acts of service is one of my love langs. He knows this and its why he is making such an effort. Right now i think my taker is in full command and its hard to rain that impulse in. I guess i have been giving for so long, and then when he was living away i had to look after me, that i want him to have to work for me and pursue me etc.
Thats not going to happen!
Any way, i may go to dinner, I'm going to try posting cards to H while i'm away, something new might work to bring us closer.
