Quote: One thing I think is critical, yet really hard to do, is to keep remembering that not only do they need to own their choices ... they need to own what they are feeling... and this means that where there are at isn't really about us... it's about them. And every time we try to make it about us, it backfires.
This says it all! My H, for instance came home last night after having a few beers and was in a very negative mood, I pretty much stayed away from him, S4 talked to him more than I did. I did test the waters, but H wouldn't talk to me or remark negatively. In the past I would have made it about me, meaning I would have tried to make him feel better, argue with him, but last night it was about H. I didn't take it on, just stayed away and told myself it's about H not me.
Quote: Try and stay detached from what H does, Just be yourself and be happy, otherwise the resentment builds up and you are back to square 1.
This is so true, staying detached and being me, is something I really need to pay attention to daily and do a lot of self-talk and monitoring of my feelings and moods. So that my mood is happy and up beat no matter what H's mood is.
