is this the end....trying not to give up

[tonibertha]

@gwn and Brit45: Thanks for your replies, guys. My problem is that the early start centres are closed on weekends, and saturdays are my only days off (usually i'm so knackered we end up staying indoors!). One of my recent goals is to start taking DD out on my day off - she is a very happy and social child, and I want to encourage that. We do a lot of dancing indoors (its both of our hobbies), and i'm always happy around her (i try) so luckily it doesn't affect her much (also she has friends at the minders place - he's there 6 days a week). i will definitely try harder to make new friends (i really need the space from my old friends now to process my thots, and decide how I feel about things)

H contacted me today (via email) to ask about the minders address (he's been there a couple of times before but not for 3 months). I decided not to reply. He can contact the minder to ask her address (he has her number). Its so funny, the few times he's seen DD or asked about her, it's been on the 21st of the month. Weird....

Also I noticed he usually tries to see DD mainly when I'm not communicating with him, so if my going darker (already pretty dark with NO contact) will get him to see more of her, I'm all for it...