Absorbed a lot of what you have all advised. WIll not be contacting H for his birthday. My friend said she's going to bake a cake and she's going to bring it over and we'll celebrate me not calling him.
Over the past week, he's been emailing me more frequently. He asked me if I had gone out to our weekend home--I was there by myself with the dogs on Easter long weekend when I discovered first hand proof of the OW--since then neither of us have been up there, as far as I know. He said he may go up there this past weekend to check on the place. I worried he may have once again brought the secretary (yes, she's a secretary at his firm, what a cliche!) but I realized it was not for me to worry about.
Still haven't talked in person or by phone. I try not to think about that too much. A friend suggested that every time I thought about H, I should make a note of it and it would make me aware of how often in the day I thought of him. It works.
Oh, and figured out that instead of asking him for his key back and instead of the expense of getting the locks changed, I should just go get the lock re-keyed. Don't know why I didn't think of that sooner. As Homer would say Doh!
