In your sitch Alamo, you have attributed your w's departure almost solely to the porn problem. I'm now not sure if that's fair.
OTOH I can see that if she really thinks you are a "threat" to son, she can hardly offer ANY custody to you, at the same time.
By no means am I belittling what I did - no person should let their emotions take control in any situation, like what I did to my wife. The guilt and sorrow when I recall those moments are truly heart-breaking to me. Below I'm listing out a chronology of sorts of what has happened thus far:
- I've offensively grabbed by wife by the wrists 3 times and pinned her against a wall once. The last time was in 2008.
- Every OTHER time I've grabbed my wife's wrists besides the above was to keep her from hurting herself. She either had a razor, scissors or a knife in her hand, either cutting her thighs or threatening to do something worse. I did so to get her to drop those items.
This "abuse" has never been the main beef on any of my wife's conversations with me. Not during the marriage, not during the separation, not during our legal discussions. This topic only surfaces as a "Oh, by the way..."
Originally Posted By: 25yearsmlc
but my guess, and it's only a guess, is that she really doesn't have a lot of respect for who she now believes you to be. For some reason she's not aware of your changes. Why is that?
Can you get her to see ANY of the changes?
I've made changes (some obvious to her, some not) since DB/DR Day 1, but as many of us know that:
a. It may take a long time before the WAS heals enough to see our changes b. The negative reactions of the WAS towards LBS, the "tests" and the button-pushing could mean that the WAS DOES notice the changes, but refuses to believe it c. In my case 25, if my wife believes that I'm a liar, nothing (I repeat, nothing) I do will stick and be seen as a positive in her mind.
Originally Posted By: 25yearsmlc
Also, I hesitate to comment about the legal aspects b/c I don't want my comments to be seen as legal advice.
But I am still not clear on why you don't work out custody NOW under California law. The minute your w gets to SC she MAY want to file THERE-
b /c if nothing is filed here FIRST, then South Carolina may have jurisdiction and that state will favor their own residents, and they'll probably favor HER then.
So why are you not handling this now before she leaves?
I am. Our court hearing is 6/4. Can't believe it's in two weeks.
