This is my first post and I've literally just become a member. Reading other posts on this site has been such a comfort and knowing I'm not alone makes me feel less lonely.
Here's my story (I'll try to be concise) I've been married for 9 months and together for just over 2 years. My H is in the military and we married sooner than we planned so that we could be together. My H has always been selfish but I hadn't realised just how much so until a month ago. To cut a long story short, I found out that he had a one night stand, he also admitted to another one night stand before we got married. I had asked him several times, before we got married, if he had anything that he thought I should know before committing to each other. He always said "no" I feel so humiliated and betrayed.
We have had 1 appointment with a counsellor (he's been away a lot with work) so we have another appt this Friday. H feels it's a waste of time as he doesn't love me, find me attractive or want to be with me. He says he has no desire to try and it's a waste of time.
I gave up a well paid job, I moved house and relocated to be with him and now 9 months later he wants to give up. I feel so insulted and have done the wrong things, cried, pleaded etc. I now know that I need to get on with my life and not make him the centre of my world. It is so hard though as I will lose my home and life here when he leaves. He is due to go to on tours in this Summer (for 6 months) so I have asked him to try for the next couple of months, see if we can make it work. He has nothing to lose but he still refuses to try.
I'm in a dilemma. Should I listen to him and let him go? He is repeatably saying he regrets marrying me and doesn't want to be with me, that he no longer loves me. Or should I try the 180 approach? I have arranged to meet him after work for a game of tennis, I am determined not to mention our R and act as normally as possible. If he tries to broach the subject (which he often does to rile me) I will deflect the conversation. I'll also visit my friend tonight and give us both some space. He is desperate to move out but I have, so far, persuaded him to stay. Is this the wrong thing to do?
Logic tells me that I should listen to what he's saying and let him go but my heart tells me to try and save out M. I don't know what to do. Any help and advice will be greatly appreciated. Thanks
