Optimistic...not hopeless! :)

[hopingandpraying]

Journal:

I did a great job GALing this weekend. I went out with friends both nights and kept myself busy with family during the day.

I even hung out with a guy friend that I've known for many years. It was nice to talk to a guy about life and have a guy make me laugh and smile again! However, it is just not the same. He's not my H and it still felt awkward to just spend time with someone else.

I guess I still just don't understand how my H replaced me so easily and found comfort in this OW. I know that trying to figure it out is useless, but I still wonder, because now that I have hung out with another guy...I get this awkward feeling and don't see how he could not feel this way (maybe he does...I can't mind read here!)

I still have not responded to his email because I don't really have anything to say. I really want to say "What do you want from me? I gave you my love, trust, and marriage. You took all of that and replaced me in no time. All I'm asking for is for you to take care of your financial responsibilities until we are legally divorced. If you want to end things with me so badly, then why won't you come get your things?"

I want to say that, but I know it will do no good, but to push him further away, so I'm just not going to respond.