Just dropping my to say that you are getting some fantastic advice here!
There is no quick fix. I think many of us think we'll come on this board, buy the book, add a bit of salt and pepper bake at 200 and voila there's a marriage restored!
It's not that easy and like they've said before even if you get back together it's still work. That's problem we all made first go round we didn't think there would need to be any work once courtship and marriage happened.
The smallest consistent changes you can make will be noticed. They may not realize they are noticing these changes they'll just know something's different and it feels strange.
I was a wife who walked away when he decided he was done moping, moving out and dating (all things I encouraged) I realized I'd rushed things and wanted to take it all back. It was too late at that point. So now I'm here learning about myself and trying to build a friendship with my H that we'd lost years ago.
Acting "as if" will be a good first step. No matter how you feel inside act as if everything is great and fine and you are confident and happy. You'll feel much better than if you let them see the mess you are inside.
Keep your head up. Post here when you need to vent or just feeling emotional. It's great because people will tell you when you learning and growing or if you're just stuck in bad thinking. We're all here for YOU
