In-Home Separation, One Year Point

[adinva]

You asked what makes me tick, what makes me happy. What am I doing just for me?

Well...

I read, all the time - it's one of my passions. Anything I can get my hands on. I read online, on my iphone, and books and books. I have two books going on now.

I love learning things, especially funky eclectic things - I love NPR and This American Life, and science, astronomy, interesting new music.

I love animals - I have more pets than I probably should but significantly fewer than after the bomb. I help out with animal rescue because it makes me feel good.

I love being outside, and spend time outside every day. I'm planning a three day backpacking trip with my best friend, and will be able to have my H to rely on to take care of the kids, dogs, and house so that I can do this. I've camped and hiked with H and the kids since they were small, and have since the bomb too, and have loved it. Not the last time but the most memorable time that I felt completely alive and filled with joy and excitement, was post-bomb, when we camped out and got caught in a major t-storm on top of a mountain hike we'd gone on - the trail turned to a river and we had to race back down in ankle deep rushing water and I helped S12 keep his morale up and it was funny because what else could it be, and we made it back, the rain stopped, and we had chili and wine and cornbread, drove an hour to use a laundromat, and it was wonderful.

I love-love-love being a mom. I love to hear my S14 and his friends around the kitchen table. I love to have them sleep over and bake muffins in the morning. I love teaching them things and learning from them. They are so cute and cool and amazing and unique.

I'm a mix of lots of extremes. I'm shy and outgoing, confident and self-conscious, intelligent and spacy, happy and sad. All depending on what I'm thinking about at the moment. I've learned to control my emotions and thoughts almost to the point where I don't even know what they are, but I'm learning to undo that. I'm seeing a counselor for the first time as an adult, and it's taking me to the next level of capability and effectiveness, and helping me be ok with what's happening in my life.

Hopefully that's enough of what I am and what makes me tick. Those are the things that came to mind, so I guess those are the things most important to me.