Crimson, I hope you can get to a point where you can read your last post and see it differently. First of all, are you 'hurting' your wife, REALLY, or just not bending over backwards to make her feel happy? She is divorcing you, she is splitting up time with your son between you and herself, and you think your role is to make her feel happy all the time? Why do you think your role is to make her or everyone happy?
When your S grows up and feels unhappy if he doesn't have a BMW and a smartphone at 16, will you accommodate that too? Or will you 'hurt' him by saying no? You love him, right? So you'll make him happy all the time?
The moment when she accuses you of stuff, is what this board helpfully refers to as "spew." You know yourself. Stop listening to the spew.
The flip flopping you're doing, on both sides, is about you thinking you're doing something to make her feel happy or sad. She feels happy or sad because of things she thinks about what you're doing. You can't control her thoughts. You can't make them reasonable or what you would think.
You agreed on terms. The ink is still drying on them, perhaps you can be flexible later on but if for now you think it best to stick to the terms, then stick to the terms. Are you doing it to punish her? Or to protect your rights? Should it matter what she says about it to you?
Yeah, I hope you get to feeling better too. I'm sorry you're going through this. Hang in there.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
