So... I'm trying to keep it all together. The latest drama- on top of acclimating to my return from Afghanistan, the D, juggling kids/ home /new career ( & a drastic pay cut)/ DBing...... The latest is that my mother's cancer has returned and was just rushed to the hospital for neurosurgery. Omg- I know thing could be worse.... But why... Is this some sick joke. My C said that I'm dealing with everything extremely well. Heck- what are my options? Either curl up in a ball and wait for the inevitable, or try to deal with it the best I can. My soon to be x says that she has noticed big changes, but she isn't ready to reconcile... & its possible she may never feel like it-She doesn't know if the changes are permanent . After 17 years , we relied on each other emotionally . Now, I need her more than ever for support and she is off being a waw.
(F.K.A. Broken422)
US 40's M 17,T 19 2 BOYS 13,16 Divorced 4/2012 11/2011 W SAID SHE WANTS D
"When it is dark enough,you can see the stars"- Ralph Waldo Emerson
This is not uncommon. When it rains it pours. I went throughout similar stuff. My father died last May and since everything went down hill. I don't know why but it just all happens at once. So be strong and let God. He is driving your ship. You are just a passenger so buckle up. My prayers to your mom.
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
I have no helpful words, just sympathy and compassion for you and your boys. I am so sorry about your mom. The M, the job, the pay, all that [censored], but try to connect with your mom as much as possible - you won't be sorry. The other things will resolve with time. With be thinking of you.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
My Mom lost her battle with cancer and passed away. D is final next week. I decided to finally take my ring off...I think that I wore it partially for my Mother's sake- She loved my ex & hoped that we would repair our R. I would love that more than ever, but I'm losing hope- she seems to become more distant & strange every day. Just keeping busy, taking care of my 2 boys, the house, working ( and dealing with a six figure pay-cut, ouch) I honestly miss life in Afganistan--so simple. I try to stay busy, gal, see my T...but I can't shake the feeling of loss, lonliness. Women hit on me often- not being vain but I'm a good looking guy in great shape, funny, intelligent...but none of them really appeal to me. The feelings of jealousy and loss are overwhelming at times...does it really get better, or will I always feel broken?
(F.K.A. Broken422)
US 40's M 17,T 19 2 BOYS 13,16 Divorced 4/2012 11/2011 W SAID SHE WANTS D
"When it is dark enough,you can see the stars"- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Sorry for your loss P. My father died a month before we had our problems. So I feel for you.
"The feelings of jealousy and loss are overwhelming at times...does it really get better, or will I always feel broken?"
The answer to this^^^^is yes. It kinda happens slowly where you start having better days and less bad days. I'm going thorugh that right now. You once were both one. But your hearts were ripped from each other and it needs time to heal like a cut.....And after a while you will no longer feel broken. You will realize that you are who you are because of you not your W or anyone else.
Again my condolences.
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
My deepest condolences to you on the loss of your mom. I am so sorry.
Focus on your boys now. They need you more than ever...
((( )))
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
Despite my 180s & GAL - which my XW has noticed, we don't seem any closer to reconciling. Its been a crazy, lonely, sad 18 months.... 12 month deployment to Afghanistan,huge paycut from my civilian job, Divorce & the death of my Mom recently. I'm hanging onto hope...but she seems so distant sometimes. We were having dinner every night,walks, going to the gym together...so many things that we did when we were married ( except physical contact & she lives somewhere else now).We scaled back on the contact because it felt like she was "playing house"...and her C said that she won't reconcile if she doesn't miss what she had...seperation and distance might be best. I'm making the changes for me ( & my Boys)but I can't give up the hope that she will come home. I'm still so very lonely & sad. I've been seeing a C almost weekly - & I'm told that everything I feel is normal, that I'm actually coping very well with all of this %&^#. I'm in good shape, educated, a decent looking guy. I've had women ask me out...but avoided dating this soon.My ex tells me to get on with my life-- So,recently, I've gone out with an attractive successful woman a few times...kind of dating- She is aware of my feelings etc. & describes it as "friends with benefits".... I was married for 17 years, I never had friends like that before! She knows that I'm in love with me xw. I'm worried that this will destroy my chances of reconciling & perhaps my ex really doesn't mean it when she says "get on with your life and see people"...She tells me that she isn't seeing anyone yet. I need to stop trying to mind-read. I just feel like I'm stuck in limbo. GAL, 180s..but still lonely and sad. Any input..I know so many are probably feeling the same way?
(F.K.A. Broken422)
US 40's M 17,T 19 2 BOYS 13,16 Divorced 4/2012 11/2011 W SAID SHE WANTS D
"When it is dark enough,you can see the stars"- Ralph Waldo Emerson
