Yes, I've been away for a while, just getting on with my own life and producing some lovely work. (BTW Bill - not to worry and thanks for responding. I appreciate your honesty:)
I moved and things went well. My place is coming along nicely. I'm settling in. Since then a few interesting developments.
My H and I see each other once a week - approximately. It all started because I was going a bit nuts without sex. One evening, I called to ask what was going on with him and it all started off well, and then when I asked him over for dinner. He said no AGAIN!
Boy, that did it for me. I was like, Fine!! I'm throwing in the towel now - nothing to lose at this point. So I told him I have my needs and I was tired of being physically alone. I don't ask him because I'm fed up with the rejection. So, instead I needed to find someone else to satisfy my needs. We ended up having a conversation that lasted hours it seemed - lots of emotion, and honesty and it was just real.
After that conversation, a part of me did throw in the towel. I was getting myself ready to just move on emotionally, and started to make my plans.
A week later he suggested he come over. It was a truly wonderful, long passionate night. Exactly what I wanted. He left afterwards - which I was perfectly comfortable with.
However, the last time he was here he was like, "We're not even together..." and then 2 hours later, we are having S again. He constantly puts up barriers to keep himself safe and distant I realise.
Now, the strange thing is that he got in touch with my parents to have dinner with them. Ages ago he told me he wanted to do that to 'clear his name' seeing as he was the one who left and he wanted to put across his side of the story to preserve his reputation. He hates being seen as the bad guy.
My parents have agreed to have dinner with him, and my mother told me that he doesn't know what's coming if he thinks they are just going to sit there and listen to him whine. They happen to hold strong marriage values.
Now this has actually been pissing me off since my mother told me. My H didn't even bother to tell me!! What makes him think he can talk to my family and leave me out of it? I haven't said anything to him but I told my mother that I'm not happy about it. What kind of game is this??
He went away this weekend and he sent me a text saying, "Thanks for teaching me so many interesting cultural things over the years." It came totally out of the blue. I of course thanked him for such a wonderful compliment. Nothing else all weekend after that. Like the radio waves went dead.
Every so often he lets his true emotions out - which are all love - but just not too long. I feel I just get these morsels of warmth and then he snatches it back - it's so damn confusing!! It's doing my head in.
But really, this thing with my parents is what is getting to me. They have dinner on Thursday and my mother will tell me all about it no doubt.
Once again, I'm thinking of moving on because this is too damn confusing for my head to cope with.
If anyone else has any other perspective, please do share.
