Ok.... so God and his divine timing are wonderful and funny (strange funny, not haha funny) sometimes. I didn't go to church the past 2 Sundays, I went today, and the Sermon's title.... "Waiting on God." Wow.... how very, very appropriate for me and obvious, cause God knows I'm not so great with subtle(well sometimes anyway)! lol It was all about waiting in patience for God's timing, plan and mission...... so... um... yeah.... I guess I should take the hint! lol I about started laughing in the middle of the sermon when the Pastor said this line, "We need to trust the Spirit and wait in Him instead of always having to control." He also said, "Joy comes in waiting." It's like today's sermon was written for me! God always knows what we need..... today's sermon helped me get back to my happy place.
So news on the home front. When I got home from church H was on the couch watching tv and I saw him keep looking at me.... strange.... I looked over at him and he said, "wow!" I said, "What? I take it you like my new outfit..." He said he definitely did.... I went back to "my" room and started putting my laundry away, he came back and asked if I needed help getting out of my new outfit.... and well you all know where this goes.... so after he actually laid in bed with me for a few minutes instead of retreating back to the tv or "his" room right away. He made a comment again about what I had been wearing, and he said my church should have a dress code. I said I don't know if you meant that as a compliment or an insult, but I'm taking it as a compliment. He said that's what he meant it as, and apologized I thought he could mean it another way. I told him it's ok, I was just messing with him.
Then while I was in the bathroom pulling up my hair he came in and said, "I don't want to get into any discussions today but I just wanted to say I really appreciate how you have been through all of this. I know we have had some conversations (I'm guessing he means the ones where he insists on a divorce and I insist on no, but point out he has the choice to leave)." I said, "I have always appreciated and respected you." He said," I hope when all of this is over we can still be friends." So instead of going into panic mode or getting upset with him for insinuating he is still leaving I said, "I guess we will cross that bridge when we get there." He said yeah as I turned back around to finish with my hair. He came back a few minutes later to see if I needed anything from the store because he was headed out in a few minutes (this is the first time in MONTHS he's told me exactly where he is going), I asked him to pick up some paper towels. He asked if there was anything else, I said no. He started on his I drank such and such of yours I'll replace it. I stuck with the that's not necessary response.
Later, when I got home from the gym he was watching the shooting DVD's I had gotten him for his birthday. He wanted to pay me for them. I told him absolutely not they were a gift. I asked him how shooting was going, he said well, and he actually told me about the Las Vegas trip in October. Apparently he's going for 2 weeks. I congratulated him and said I was kinda jealous, it sounds like fun. He laughed and said something about yeah sweating my butt off in the desert! I said you will enjoy every minute of it. Then he went back to watching his DVD.
Some things I've noticed.... his hair brush is back in the bathroom (it's been in his room for months, along with other bathroomish stuff), his toothbrush is now lying right next to the toothbrush holder as opposed to the whole way on the other side of the counter. When I asked him if he wanted some old shirts that are now too big for me (yea go me!) for rags he said, "yeah throw them in the doorway of the room." He said the room and not my room... so that's different....He also left his door open when he left today.
I know, I know, don't read into stuff and I'm not, just trying to look at even the smallest positive. It's nice to get a glimpse of the old H, the caring, fun one.....who knows what is going to happen, but I still have hope....
