not enought time and too much distance

[any chance?]

One more day left of xW 10 day visit. Just got back from 2 days with my elderly mother, and visiting with my sister. xW says she had a great time. Says she has been having fun all week.

Got in some serious conversation on the way home. xW is moving forward, almost off her AD drugs, feeling better, moving ahead. Says she realizes she has lots of good friends here, loves the place, the house, her old job (she is on a leave right now).

Also told me she is very compatible with the new OM, and is going to give it time to work out over the next several months. She is spending about half time in her new city and about half time in his town.

Seems pretty clear to me that she wants nothing to do with me, that I am a thing of her past. Yet she wants to see me over the summer. This thing is tearing a hole in my heart big time. But I will not let it show. I am on the high road. Being the new me. Being the guy she would be crazy to leave. Leaving the door open a crack but having no expectations.

Strong face. Proud exterior. Internally destroyed. Very, very wounded. Wonder if this will ever end. Beginning to doubt it.