Last night was rough at our monthly ballroom venue. My W chose to reluctantly go, though I gave her the option of staying home. I went to three Salsa venues during the week, so felt that it was fair that I had my one night of ballroom to practice and network. I think she's self-concious and intimidated by good male ballroom dancers. I point out the better male dancers, yet she won't ask them to dance. At the end of the evening, she complains that "no one" asks her to dance. When we danced together, she would pick at me. I now know that I'm doing just fine, and that her comments aren't always objective.
I can only do so much to help her. Quitting ballroom dancing isn't the answer. If we quit ballroom dancing, we'd have to find another hobby to replaceit with. Participating in life is a struggle. I think any joint activity we would do would be a struggle in some form. I can see why many people prefer to compete with a professional than social dance with their partner. It's inherently conflictual. I think the most loving thing you can do for your W is sometimes to allow them to struggle, while you hold onto yourself.
I'll talk to her today, and see where she's at. We bought another year's worth of lessons, so she stated her commitment to keep working on ballroom dancing. I think my expectation of ballroom dancing at a venue weekly is realistic. I'm not always in the best of frame of mind when she wants to go Salsa dancing, and I'd rather take the night off. I push thru and am usually glad I did.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
