Hoping my marriage can be saved :(

[Maggie3]

Good point Brit. She basically told me what the email said too so I guess it would be lying, even though it wasn't like I asked her to write to him. I think I will tell her what you said- that it is her call if she decides to do it or not. I think it felt cathartic for her to reach out to him, as they are (were? she's pretty p.o.'ed at him) friends.

My other question for all you wise DB'ers is this: Basically my H comes by once every week and a half or so after work and cuts our lawn. Our yard is large and we have maybe 7 or so different beds of shrubs, flowers, etc. They are all overgrown, weedy and looking horrible. He never mulched this year or did any of the work to get our yard in shape after this spring. Outdoor stuff was usually his area (with help from me under his direction) as he has a green thumb and I sadly do not. I also cannot do most of this stuff as I am too small and struggle even starting the leaf blower. I tried to burn all the brush I collected and the fire got out of control and my neighbor luckily ran over to help put it out. This same neighbor has been helping with some of the lawn stuff because I think he feels so bad for me. I have been trying my best but I just can't do it. I have been working almost every Friday evening and Sunday at my part time job because I am so worried about money while also trying to do fun things to keep me busy and GAL. Today on my way to work I broke down crying and called my dad to come help me next weekend. My parents live over an hour away and while they have come to help with some stuff they also care for my sister's three young children and my dad still works part time. We cannot afford to pay a lawn care company for maintenance. I'm already annoyed that he is still having a lawn care company come out for treatments- it makes no sense to have them treat the grass in a yard that looks ridiculous with overgrowth and weeds everywhere.

My question is- how do I approach my H about more help? Right now he is paying extra on top of his mortgage payments to help me with my car loan. I don't want to jeopardize this or risk him not coming to help at all. I am feeling frustrated because I think he is not willing to give up his newly active social life on weekends. He wants to keep our house and have me get roommates to help with the mortgage (he will continue to pay some) I'm guessing until home values climb back up. I also don't want him to change his mind and have us lose a ton on our home.

My thought was possibly emailing his mom and explaining this to her and asking her if she can somehow plant the idea in his head that he needs to come do more than cut the lawn. I know he helps her with her yard (we both used to) too, but she can at least afford to pay someone else to come help her. I don't want to have to run to his mom every time there is an issue, which I feel like I had done before after the bomb. Ideas? Concerns?