I know you're hurt, but read your post above.

It's all about him.

What are you doing for you? Remember, the things you do for you should be done FOR you, not to get him to notice.

You make an effort to look nice to boost your confidence, not in hopes that H will notice.

You GAL to have a life separate from H, to keep you occupied, productive, confident, not so H will see it.

If you can't get a job, volunteer somewhere.

All you've written suggests whatever changes you are making are for H to notice, not that you've actually changed.

Is that true?

If so, you are wasting a wonderful opportunity to become the woman you were meant to be.

Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss