Retreating in my hole of NC and feeling horrible about myself.

It's all 1 step forward 50 steps back with me.

This morning I texted him because he'd left some stuff here and I found something of his so I texted him about that and said I'd have it ready on Tuesday. He replied very nicely.

Then I went outside to do some gardening and while in the garage I noticed that a clothes rack was gone. I don't want it, I didn't want it while it was in the house. But the fact that he was helping GF move yesterday and this was gone led me to believe that he had given it to her without mentioning it to me. I tried to tell myself that I didn't want it so why did I care and then I got angry like why do I have to be the one to "get over stuff" I thought he probably did tell you because he knew it would turn into a big thing and he knew you didn't want it anyway. But that didn't help my anxiety.

I'm literally shaking as I type this.

I texted him about the rack but in a round about way just said the garage is getting emptier didn't even notice that was missing when did it go? He replied said he took it yesterday and he is trying to get more and more of his stuff out of there.

Then the mayor of crazytown moved right back in and called him.

He answered not sounding happy. (of course he's not happy he's been helping this girl move for two days. yesterday he had car problems on the side of the highway for hours. and you're calling him with some craziness) I asked him about the rack said that I couldn't see him using it. He told me his mom wanted it. And I said oh okay I just couldn't see you using it in your place. Then he started telling me this big story about his parents house remodel etc, etc.

I asked if he'd brought over some other stuff. He told me he had to rearrange a lot of stuff in the garage. I told him that's why it probably felt so different when I went in, because everything was moved around and I couldn't remember if that had always been there or what had been taken.
Then Mayor of Crazytown said "I didn't know if maybe you had given that rack to GF and didn't want to tell me because you thought it might upset me" W.T.F Why??????? do I say these things??????

He said no, no, then I changed the subject then I said so are you all done moving or is there more to do today. And he said no there's more to do today because I got delayed yesterday with the car. And I said okay well I'll see you on Tuesday and we got off the phone.

I feel horrible.
I feel like the last two weeks were for nothing, because I've just acted crazy.
I feel like she was probably right next to him or near him and they're saying "she called you because she was wanted to know where a clothing rack went?" "what was she going to say that GF couldn't have it"

I hate that I didn't wait the 24 hours and then considered saying/texting/calling.

I feel like anything he may have felt about me yesterday has just been ruined by my bout of crazy.

I guess it's all down to control and I can't control what he does with things that I don't want. Of course I can't. I so wish I had thought this through before texting or calling him.

I'm a horrible DB'er right now. I blame the Solar Eclipse and time of the month.