Yesterday was my first day of freedom since I finished UNI - yay no more assignments - well until Sept when I start my teacher training. Major relief and its been both a blessing and a pain while dealing with my sitch and my growth.
I had a pretty productive day, in the morning I went into the attic and brought down all of the bags of clothes that are either too small or too big for the four of us and sorted through some of my clothes. There must have been close to 30 bin bags full of clothes, my W thought I was going to dump them or give them to a charity shoup, but a new store had opened that buys clothes by the kilo. So I took them there and ended up getting �70 which is just over $100 :-) when I gave the money to my W and said how I got it, she was really happy, because things are tight at the moment. So - score on my mornings work.
When I got back W had made plans to go to the park with her mum and dad and the kids - no invite for me (getting used to it now). So I went to the store and got some pizzas for dinner and tidied up the whole downstairs, hoovered and mopped. So when they come back it looked great, to relax and have a nice Saturday night in together as a family.
I'm just going to keep working hard and being nice and having fun with the kids. I still feel a lot of resentment from my W, which I try to validate, although most of the time it is just expressed by her out of spite, and I have to bite my lip because she's being a little b*@*h! My expectations are very,very low about anything positive happening between us soon, but I'm not gonna let that get me down. I'm trying real hard, so we can stay together as a family, but I'm not going to plead if my W brings up R conversation and wants to separate (one of us leaves).
I think in the short term unless something happens beforehand, this holiday to Florida in 3 weeks is going to help determine what's gonna happen next in our sitch. 2 weeks, spent together as a family having fun and I guess there will be plenty of opportunities for my W to bring up R talk there as well.
I think the big plus point for the way I feel right now, is that I'm not fearing these conversations or the outcome. My W isn't my life, she's a part of it, the rest of my life is going great now and whatever happens I'll get through it, just like so many of you guys have done.
Everything in life that is worth working for, means more and is worth the pain for the joy of happiness and fulfillment.
Bill
Me 34 W 32 D 9 S 6 M: 9 years T: 12 Bomb: 02/11/12 EA/PA: 12/17/11 - ongoing Moved out: Oct 2012 Joint Filed for D: 2/11/13
