that lightbulb moment!

[UKVA]

I know she must have noticed the pull back; I have gone from the long flowing e-mails full of superfluous tidbits to just the facts, Ma'am. While I know it is the right thing to do I wonder if she thinks it is my agreement that we need to get the big D? In her odd way of thinking right now I could see it.

Next Friday we have agreed to meet, just the two of us, for the first time in months. She has been bugging me that we have things to discuss, but my DB coach says on no account talk about big D, just kids stuff and summer schedule. My W is going to get blind sided (I think) when I tell her our current living arrangements are not going to work for the summer and I want a change. Currently we switch between our home where the kids are and an apt on a week to week basis. I agreed to do this while I thought our MC was working on our marriage. Silly me. Since she is a teacher with the summer off our access to the kids would be skewed with our current arrangement so I am going to ask her nicely to let me have the house for at least the summer. Also she IS the one who wants the new living arrangement so perhaps this is right anyway. I don't expect a good reception, but plan to tell her that on 6/17 (Father's Day) when I get back from camping with my son, I plan to be at the house full time. If she is there I will take it as a sign that she wants to work on things, but she will not

My W has always been slim, but what I saw last week shocked me. And I spend a lot of time around runners so I know skinny! It looked unhealthy. My bet is that when she is away form the kids there is not much thought put into dinner, and that she is tiring of the effort single life requires. This is recent and I wonder if my going dim (as opposed to dark) has contributed.

I have been reading another chain this evening "this rocky path WILL smooth out", and there is some great stuff in there about MLC that certainly applies to my WAW including this nugget:

An MLC... is willing to do the tough work... to avoid the tough work...

which describes what my WAW will do to avoid trying to fix things!

Here's a song for you, Maybe by Ingrid Michaelson

Cheers