My own thread...my sordid story.

[Underdog]

(((((Pamela)))))

I didn't mean for those homework assignments to make you fret. Don't fret...

You know what I think? You've got so much on your plate right now that it MUST be time for a break from all this hard work. And it IS hard work, Pam.

Put the assignment away until you feel up to it. But in the mean time, I'm not giving you license to go off the deep end in a sulk.

I also have to give you a blue ribbon. You're doing all of this with your H in residence. Anchor and I are not. While I don't recommend separation to anyone, it has its benefits. For one, we have their absence most of the time, and this time is spent wishing they were back home helping us raise our kids.

I admit this freely. I also wonder if I'd be as good at this if Mr. W. were living with me. I sincerely doubt it. His overall negativity and unwillingness to cooperate in finding solutions would probably have me down in the dumps a whole lot more than I am (which is not very often).

But it has its drawbacks. I have to pay a hefty mortgage on my own. While he pays me child support, remember that I have 2 little kids who always seem to need money for something. And if they don't need money, they need clothes. Thankfully, they are not boys and eating me out of house and home. But one of them is disabled (thank you Medicaid).

What I'm trying to say is that each of us has been given a unique set of circumstances. What happened to us as individuals probably is a godsend. While I don't know if I could deal with Mr. W. living with me while we sort this stuff out, I don't know if I could be Meredith and raising an 18-month old by myself. Neither of you would probably offer to have a disabled daughter. We all got what we can handle.

And yes, life totally sucks sometimes. (In fact, that IS the title of one of my chapters in my manuscript.)

Go easy on yourselves. You and your H have had a lot of history--some bad and most good. It's not going to be easy or quick to work through this stuff. After all, you didn't get in this mess overnight, did you?

Why not see the homework assignment as work in process. That can be your compass on what direction you're heading with him and it can provide you with proof of your progress.

Not to mention your posts here.

We can discuss the beer after work when this fog clears. Let's sit it out until it happens, okay?

Big hugs,

Betsey

p.s. Your next bathing incident MUST include a bathing suit! Since I have a hot tub, you can do that here!