@kml: I have to say...your words ring true. In my head, I believe I've known this for a long time. Now I just have to get my heart to believe it too.
@hoping: H and I were talking about this the other day. How we're in a state of limbo right now and I told him that while the future is uncertain, I accept that we may not reconcile. I also said that I believed being apart right now, while difficult and initiated on his part, is the wake-up call *I* needed. For the first time in my life, I'm on my own and I have to learn to take care of myself. I've never really learned to do this and how can I possibly take care of any relationship without being able to take care of myself first? Maybe we'll find our way back to each other, and maybe we won't...but either way, we'll both be stronger and better for the lesson in this. Ambiguity is both a strangely freeing and frightening thing.
He told me he had a lot of respect for me for coming to this realization.
So, I move forward, slowly, hoping for the best.
M-40 H-39 M- 12 years T- 20 years Separation: 5-8-12; H says he wants to pursue divorce
