I'm afraid I don't have much to offer. I do think that noticing what he needs to do is a big step. Sometimes we get wrapped up in our hurt and we don't see them as real people just the object of desire we want.
Would you ever be able to be in a R with him if the attitude with the kids didn't change? Would it be possible, now that they're older, for you to be in his life and just not be a step mom?
