Wow, your counselor is very lucky that she doesn’t have me for a patient…if she had told me to "tell your friend Betsey that I am capable of doing my job myself!" I would have had no choice but to reply with “Then would you mind DOING it please?” OOPS, that was the old Meredith…the new one would have smiled and said, “If I doubted your capabilities I wouldn’t continue to come. However, I would appreciate a little more in the way of solutions in the future”.
Quote: (translation: I am supposed to have been put on this Earth to anticipate each of his needs and feelings, and instinctively know the right way to handle it all!)
Aren’t we though? They all seem to think that…
Quote: The man who isn't sure he wants to be married is afraid of coming out with the deal-breaker to our marriage?????
Now, has your H ever actually said (recently, I mean) that he isn’t sure he wants to be married? You know, it doesn’t matter…this is where Michele’s “believe none of what you hear and only half of what you see…” comes into play. What we can SEE is that your H is home, your H is in counseling, your H is trying – although maybe not at the speed of light – to do some nice things for you…so what I SEE is that he really does want to be married.
In the past, have you become defensive about the things he’d bring up that bother him? Maybe he isn’t ready to trust the shark yet…maybe he still thinks he’ll be the fish half of Betsey’s fish and chips dinner if he brings up anything negative. Maybe your hatred of limbo land is showing through in ways you don’t intend…and he takes that to mean that you’re on the brink of filing and doesn’t want to do anything to knock you over the edge?
I know with Sting, I tried to stop using angry words with him and thought that I was hiding my anger well…but he still complained that I was angry all the time. It shows through in ways we don’t realize…and then they become afraid us through the fear of conflict.
I’m glad you’ve put some new goals into place!! I need to do the same…
GO YOU !!!!!
"It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere."
--Agnes Repplier, writer and historian
