Oh boy, you are the mirror image of my situation. My WAW refuses to work on anything, did 8 months of MC before confessing that she did it just to get the strength to tell me she is never coming back. So much for the marriage being the client! If you asked her she would still maintain she was an angel and I was the ogre. Fortunately our mutual friends at least understand it takes two people to cause these problems.
If you can, find a supportive friend to attend your brothers wedding. Yes, it will be tough but grow through it. You sound like a strong enough person, and while the reading will feel ironic at best, know that those things are real and important to those attending. When is the wedding?
Just remember that you are going dark for you, don't concern yourself with the impact on him or what he does with it. I went dark (ish, we have kids) about 4 weeks ago and dialed my communication right back to basics. I don't know for sure, but I think my W has seen it and reacted in a negative way, becoming angrier (if that is possible!) with me. However, last Wednesday we saw each other for the first time in 4 weeks and I did a great job with the 4 Cs which I know she saw. Plus I actually looked at her and wondered why I felt so intimidated by seeing her. She looked rough, like she had lost 15lbs which she cannot afford to lose. Gaunt, borderline anorexic.
You know to work on yourself, you cannot control anyone else. If he wants to stand still refusing to grow that is not your issue. As many in this community say, make yourself someone only a fool would leave. Then if he does, you know that you can move on to something so so much better.
As a humorous aside, I have ridden in a helicopter once and I hope you have a strong stomach because my experience was not that great. They pitch and roll in so many ways that I just about held my lunch in. Good luck!
M 53, W 48 T 25, M 18 S 15, D 11 "I'me done!" 6/13/2010 Exit started 8/21/2011 ILYBNILWY W consults with L 9/2011, no papers filed Separated 1/16/2012
