thank you for your welcome. Yes, we have been living seperately for awhile, but in my heart/mind I have only accepted seperation as a status a month ago. He wants to rush a D. I just can't process this all so fast (again - in my heart and mind i have accepted seperation only a month ago). He has an OW.
Since he moved out, when he is town, he comes home everyday after work. we eat dinner, talk with kids, bedtime, then he leaves. I say when he is in town because when he first left, his father had just passed away and H coped I think by running. He found every excuse to leave the country for work.
Over the past year it has been smoother. We talked more, laughed sometimes and he would even stay SOMETIMES after the kids slept to chat or have a drink
But then it started to get bumby again. He would get moody, shut down, I realise now it was because the whole time this OW was in his head and life. I found out about her last summer, but he swore it was just an EA and over. and that he didnt want to work on the M.
He is in a full physical R with her now.
I did nothing for myself at first. I was devestated, depressed. I spirlled downwards. The only positive result for me was weight loss. But what a way to lose weight.
I see now what I was doing wrong (almost everyone of the 37 rules BROKEN). But i just coudnt wrap my head around this. I think i can now. Really see the light. I fear it may be too late. He has been away for almost two months now for work. OW with him.For past month have had minimal contact, and a week ago when he told me about his intentions for a full physical affair with OW, I stopped contact all together. He has not called the kids in over a week. That is not his style usually (guilt?).
I know i need to GAL and 180s. Not seeing a C but have started DB telephone sessions. Had my first one last week with Cheryl. I receive my DR book on Thursday.
He is supposed to come back next week. I am anxious about seeing him although Cheryl did give me advice on this.
I dont want to write too much as I am aware that on moderation posts shouldnt be too long.
Thank you for 'listening'.
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
