Snodderly thanks for the tip for the hose, I will try that after I water my garden today! I don't know how much rest I am gonna get, but I drink water constantly, so I should be good there... Gotta mow the grass again.... gee it would be nice if someone else took a turn doing that.... but I guess why would you mow a yard you are planning on leaving? Who knows. I'm done trying to figure out crazy. smile On the up side I can almost talk again!

So I've been thinking, and I think part of why I'm stuck being annoyed/frustrated with dear one is due to someone my friend told me about recently. My friend works in a nursing home and she had a very young resident there (in his 50s), he's battled cancer most of his life and he had told her all he wanted to do in life was fall in love, get married, and be able to sleep in bed next to his wife..... well this man passed away earlier in the week, and he never got to do ANY of that.... His passing really affected my friend, I never met the man but it made me cry to hear that... how sad.... how sad that things a lot of people (MLCers) take for granted should be enjoyed to the fullest because not everyone gets even that simple happiness...... My friend did a good job of not yelling at my H, she is sooooo upset with him, more so since this residents passing.... She wants to tell him to stop thinking the grass is greener somewhere else, because it isn't, enjoy everything you have because your life isn't that bad, enjoy your wife and the fact you have one cause not everyone gets that! That's all this resident wanted from life and he couldn't have it because he was busy fighting for his life! So at least she yelled at me what she would have liked to yell at him. lol

I try to keep telling myself he is really hurting and confused on the inside and isn't as happy as he is pretending to be, but it's hard to keep thinking that when he tries so hard to make it seem like he's great without me in any part of his life..... my empathy tank is running low......