Dawn, sorry to see that you are here...but I like your goals on page 1...especially the high heels.
What Seminole wrote is outstanding, in my opinion - can't add much more than that, but I will try. It really comes down to focusing on you...allowing yourself to reflect from within and become happier and more self confident in your own skin. It's very hard...believe me, I'm sure everyone on here still struggles daily. But, it does appear that you are moving in the right direction...there will be bumps in the road but stay focused, stay strong and do what's right for you and your children.
My sitch is a bit similar, no infideltiy...but I totally get your feelings of anxiety and fear to bring things up with your H. My W feels (or at least felt at this point) the same way and that always killed me. I've been a work in progress over the last few years but not enough for my W. I am at peace with that now, I have forgiven myself and have forgiven my W...and I am now on a very good path of self reflection and emotional connection with the one's I love and my surroundings. Don't beat yourself up over what your H is doing...he will need to do the same self reflection. M is a two way street and he is just as responsible for your sitch than you are. If he can't take responsibility for that and doesn't "work" on his own self worth and well being for himself...than do you really want to be with him? Your lives will never be the same again...your M isn't working for who you two are now. The only way a R is if you both come to peace with it all, forgive the past...and become better individuals...again, not for the R but for yourselves. Only two emotionally stable, self confident, self sufficient, happy people can come together at this point. Time will tell...use this time wisely for yourself. If anything...the worst that could happen is a better you.
Take care Dawn...sending you hugs. ((((((Dawn))))))
Me:44, W: 39 D:16, D:14, D:11(special needs) M:17, T:21+ Bomb:3/18/12 W contacted mediator for D:3/27/12 Separate since bomb Mediation, signed agreement 5/17/12 No talk of D since mediation
