Thanks for posting UKVA - I had kind of come to that conclusion about the present. I might just go myself, would love to go on a helicopter! Luckily it really didn't cost very much because the company were doing a promotional offer, I could never have afforded it otherwise! I think going dark is the only way now, not to try and be punitive but because I need the time to get myself back again, I was doing so well! And work is good, I have a lovely little house I could be doing work to. I'm understanding more than ever what cadet means about having the gift of time.
I have no reason to contact him at all, and at least I guess my last message to him was a positive one. My brother's wedding is going to be hard, I'm doing a reading about the promises yo make when getting married, but I'm determined to ensure he has the best day ever and doesnt have any need to worry about me. I know h is still going on the holiday with his parents, which again I'll find hard, but there are worse things going on.
I went to a lunch yesterday and sat next to a lady who had breast cancer in 2009 and lost her husband last year. She's just got back from base camp Everest, raising money for charity. Wow! She said she was determined not to let the bad times define her, and she wanted to be a role model for her children.
It kind of reminded me of when I was 19, and my mum past away. I was determined to become a woman she would be proud of. I need to try and find that again. I think it's when you go through turmoil that you can really grow as a person - at the minute I feel that I'm learning, and changing and growing, but my H is standing still.
