I had noticed my H smells different, his room stinks. I didn't bring it up here, because I thought I was just being crazy. I asked my DIL did his room smell funny. She thought so, too.
I figured it was like how you can't smell the dog smell if you live with them. I don't think his smell has changed, I think I am just sleeping in a different room and it no longer is part of my arena.
Glad I'm not the only one with a sensative nose.....
Me 57 XH 58 Sons age 32 & 27 M:32 D final 9/12 Bought 10 Acres and Living the Dream!
Maybe it is caused by the stress hormones of MLC and double life??? Hormones can cause odor changes...
W looks different, I can tell when she is in alien mode just by how her face literally changes...the kids have picked up on that as well, so its not just me. Glad we haven't seen full on alien very often lately. She does smell different, but I know she has menopause mixed in with mlc as well (double whammy)...but here is something to Wendy's sleeping separate theory...
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
Ah, yes, my H and I do sleep separately. Makes sense (pun?). I don't find his odor unpleasant, just different. I wonder if I smell differently to him. At the very beginning, I thought he looked different ... not like my H at all, but that has changed ... he looks like his normal self. The smell thing is a recent discovery. Maybe, it's because I'm no longer attracted to him?
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
Oh man, do I ever know what you mean!! I loved the way my XH smelled--he always smelled either like soap, freshly showered, or like his colonge. The day I gave him the check to buy him out of the house, I met him at a parking lot at the bank, and he was in his car. His car if anything usually smelled like "beach" smell. I opened the door and he and the car had this weird smell which I can only describe as "damp old towel" smell. Now the reason I can describe this smell so easily is that every bachelor I've known has had a tendency to keep towels in their apt./house hanging up that are desperately in need of being washed, and I notice they take on that smell themselves. (Not saying all bachelors are like this, just the ones I've known).
My XH has always been meticulous about his appearance and smell. But that day I just was thrown for a loop.
It occurred to me that probably, with me not there to replenish his cologne, he'd never actually go to the dept. store to buy it. And with me not there, would he use fabric softener sheets, in the scent I used for 15 years at least, probably not. Probably he'd get unscented.
But aside from that, I hugged him very closely the last day I saw him in November when our cat died, and only a tiny bit of "his smell" remained. I also don't find him attractive anymore.
I think it probably has everything to do with pheremones and biochemistry. If a person repeatedly hurts us I bet you that our own bodies will block whatever it was that was attracting us to them as a way of protecting us from further harm. Sort of like your brain chemistry throwing up a roadblock just in case you aren't strong enough psychologically to stay away from a bad influence.
I used to worry a lot that I'd never find another man's smell attractive or never BE attracted to anyone else the way I was to XH--my XH was very handsome and I always thought I was extraordinarily lucky to have a guy that good-looking with me.
But the guy I've been seeing off and on is NOT as physically attractive and yet I am unbelievably attracted to him--and his scent--and it has everything to do with his brains and talent and the fact that I feel I can trust him.
I have to say, though, that I'm glad I'm not the only one who noticed this, I thought maybe I was crazy!!
M45 Bomb 6/09; EA 6/10; Divorced 1/11 Proud single mom of 7 little feline girls and one little feline boy "Fall down 53 times. Get up 54." -- Zen saying
you can't smell the dog smell if you live with them.
This made me laugh! What a metaphor for the MLC! We see so much once they're gone, but a lot of it was there all along. We just couldn't *smell* it 'cause we were in the room with them!
Love it!
me 45 H 46 T 5 M 2.5 BD Sept 6 2011 OW Sept 8 2011 Threw him out Sept 8 2011
Something else I noticed besides the odor...acne. My xh suddenly began to have outbreaks of acne. Did anyone else notice bruising?
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
That one I haven't noticed, although H had bad, bad acne as a teen. I suspect that's why he was shy to ask girls out, consequently he only ever had 2 girlfriends other than me (his EA ... not sure PA ... was with a girl he liked from afar in high school). While I had so many boyfriends, I got bored trying to count them. LOL No, kidding, I had quite a lot, yet I wasn't bombshell beautiful, just pretty-ish. I had a lot of confidence in them days. Now, I wouldn't know what to say to a guy, let alone flirt. Eek, the thought gives me
H is still jogging, doing weights, etc., trying to get his youthful figure back. Not likely, dude. You are what you are, about to be 50, but unwilling to accept it. I wish he would just loosen up and enjoy his life. He hasn't had a holiday in years. Maybe then he'll appreciate what he's about to lose. Moi! haha I doubt he'll get it. It's been too long now. ~sigh~
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
W has had huge outbreaks of acne as well(she always did have this as a problem area though), plus a ton more of physical complaints...maybe there is a mind/body connection that truly reverts them back to teenagers to finish up what was never finished then... lol ... idk...
T^2
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
Something else I noticed besides the odor...acne. My xh suddenly began to have outbreaks of acne. Did anyone else notice bruising?
Snodderly - acne can be a side effect of too much testosterone (Is he using any hormone replacement?) OR of too much DHEA (available as an over-the-counter supplement, it also raises testosterone levels).
What's the old saying? I can smell the fear/guilt on you? I can smell the anxiety too. I can smell the discomfort.
The truth is, it's probably a few things combined. They are different. I used to really love the smell of my ex. I don't know if the new smell is any different, but the looks are. I'm guessing the smell is too.
Smell is one of silent attractors to a mate. That's a given in my opinion. Just like health. Dogs and cats do that all the time. They are more in tune with smells on a conscious level though.
Kind of like the smell of a baby is attractive to a mom, I think it's part of the bonding mechanism. And also part of the repulsion mechanism
I don't think looks are as powerful, but they are part of the attraction mechanism as far as I am concerned. Put the two together and you have the attraction and bonding, right?
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
