I remember bring up a topic of how some people want their SO to climb mountains and cross rivers to prove they (the SO) wants to be with them.
I understand that some people have quality time and words of affirmation as their LLs so perhaps that is where that comes from...
There's also those who's "core human need" is significance... again, that makes sense...
But I think to myself, that's a bit presumptuous...
While I really appreciate people how appear to authentically want to be with me, and do so of their own accord... I do not like people who just push themselves on me... "Hey, I am going to be at your place at (such and such a date/time) to hang with you." Or those that just show up, unannounced...
IDK, it's a fine balance...
And so yes, I understand that you would like him to "ask permission" as it were... mutually planning "together time"...
It's interesting that you indicate your H would "explain" his busy time during what you thought was your "pursuing" phase...
I find my W does that now that I am NOT pursuing... I'm so done pursuing, yet she will now explain, "Can I have the kids on the weekend, I want to take the kids skiing and I'm bringing my mom and we're going to hang out a bit..."
Really? I have been told for the last 15 months that her life is none of my business, and now she's telling me her business? I don't need, nor want, to know... I mean, thanks for letting me know, but really... TMI... unnecessary...
So I don't know what to make of that... that your H would tell you WHY he was busy... Just based on when he WOULD NOT elaborate and when he would... it's like he was being very careful to keep you informed of when he was or was not with GF...
Which... seems to be the same as my W... that she wants me to know she is NOT with her enabling friends and OM...
It will mean what ever it means, for you... just allow it to mean something positive... that he is trying to be open and honest with you about his life, in a way that a friend would be...
And yes... it would be against DB to offer well wishes as it may be seen as pursuing... but then again... would a friend not? What you will need to determine is when you are ready to offer those well wishes and mean them... like a friend... and have no expectations... and let him have what ever meanings he might... that's not your concern...
