Sadly Returning

[MrBond]

Oh and this goes back to you doing everything to make her happy when internally she was just unhappy to begin with and it had nothing to do with you.

If you leave then you're doing more of the same. Just doing things to make HER feel comfortable at the sake of your own happiness. Start getting your b@ll$ back and take care of your own happiness first. That will rebuild your self-esteem and show your W that you are a person worthy of attention.

[Hopingtomakeit]

Mr Bond. This is the first time i have ever left the house and just did what i want to do but you are making alot of sense. I will reflect on that.

[Hopingtomakeit]

Journal Update:

Last night i went home. I talked to a old friend about what was going on and took a look at a new house. The house is really cheap so i am worried about what may be wrong with it.

When i got home. I took a walk with my daughter and then invited the W to watch TV with me. She tried her best to not put her feet on me but wanted to really bad i could tell. I tried to laugh at the jokes on the shoes and not get upset about any of the content.

This morning my truck blew a tire. I called my friend and had him come help me. I did call the W to let her now there would be a large charge. She was upset i didnt call her to start. She said we are still friends and wants to know that i would be there if she needs me. I really didnt respond and got off the phone. She texted and said that she would take my daughter to school. I allowed her to do so not because i need her to but because she offered. I felt it was good to let her know i still want her as part of my life and with me during crisis. I think i handled this pretty well.

[robb]

Maybe I'm missing something here. Why are you leaving the house if SHE's unhappy?

My W initially told me the same thing. I looked at her incredulously and told her that I was perfectly fine at home and that if she was the one who was unhappy then she should leave. She did and I'm glad I stayed.

While you can't control what she wants, you sure as hell can control what you do.

I honestly think it would be easier on the LBS to find a new place than have to stay alone in the same place you shared with the WAS.

Hopin, praying that the time away will be good for you.

[Hopingtomakeit]

Journal update: it's been since Friday 6:30 pm that I have spoke. To my wife. I have been camping with some friends. It's been rough and I have spent most of the nights drunk and checking my phone. I am giving her the space she needs but I don't understand why she hasn't texted? Isn't she worried about me? Or does she really not care and want this over.

[robb]

Sometimes they might be thinking the same thing about you. Keep it going, you are distancing yourself well.

[Hopingtomakeit]

Journal: Woke up this morning around 5. I must have been dreaming because i was in a bit of a panic. I couldnt sleep and still trying to GAL. I am really struggling with the doing whats best for me and not whats best for W. Thats kept me up all morning. I think read some Divorce Remedy and just tried to stay positive.

I thought i was good when i left for work. I was upbeat and ready to start a brand new day. However, my emotions got the best of me. She however finally texted me.

W "How are you doing"

M:"i am doing ok. I spent some quality time with the guys. How are you?"

W: Doing Ok. Just wanted to check on you."

M: NP, thanks for checking in.


Then the talk was done. I guess ill have to wait to see if more texts come. Hopefully, soon she will want to talk.

[robb]

You did well Hoping!

It's a tough process, and as they say, you are doing this for yourself, because without a healthy you, there can be no relationship.

Keep the faith that you will feel better.

[Brit45]

It will get easier and easier. Know that it's normal to feel all strange inside. As long as you don't let your actions reflect how you feel...instead let your actions be seen as confident and together.

You're doing great!

[mishka422]

. I am really struggling with the doing whats best for me and not whats best for W.

If this continues to be such a struggle and you are longing to hear from here and even pining for that moment then may I suggest a book for you? "Codependent No More". It's life changing and could help you break those unhealthy habits.

Trust me, I never considered myself codependent until I examined our R deeply and discovered, to my everlasting shock, that I really was!