What scaredsilly says is very true. Do you take H's seeming disinterest in son as a rejection of him and thereby, you?
It makes me question our relationship as a whole. That the whole time I felt as though he bonded with our son and maybe he didn't.
I'm feeling a bit tossed aside. When I came to him and said I want to work on us, I think I pulled the trigger too soon, he choose for us to stay apart. I do feel as though he has this new life that has tossed aside not only me but S as well. And I never thought he would do that. (yes I admit I never thought he would actually toss me aside or turn me down. classic WAS behaviour and trust me my ego took a massive hit...March-mid April was horrific)
I see it as my failure. That I trusted and chose someone who isn't who I thought they were.
I can't orchestrate or fix. You're right. And having my hands tied, even though I know in my head is the right thing, makes it very frustrating for me. I worked really hard to understand what he meant by things can't happen on my schedule. Because I do tend to plan everything out and he just went along with it.
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And this does fall in line with the good or nice guy scenariio.
What I meant is that he can't pride himself on being a good guy and walk out S's life like that.
I will be so so hurt if that string is broken. H was the only father S knew after being rejected by his biological father when he was a child. (they are now mending that R) I feel disappointed that I chose someone to be a father figure in his life who let him down. I will feel lied to and a bit betrayed.
I think maybe this all goes back to promises. When he moved out he made promises about us working on things in the future that just never seemed to happen. Since finding DB I haven't brought these up anymore I've just left it all alone for the 6 weeks. But I did feel betrayed and lied to that he said "in a few weeks we could see where things are" or "let's let things calm down and then maybe we can start seeing each other." But he continued seeing his GF and was angry saying that I wanted him to just sit at home, or that timing suxx, or that he's just seeing where things go (with GF) he's not making any plans.
And now I think I feel like it's another promise broken only this time to my son.
And if I bring it up he always sounds really sad, like he really wants to and he means to and things happen and then he feels bad. I don't want to be in that position where I just remind him that he hasn't kept up regular time/contact with S. So I'm not bringing it up any more. But it hurts and it makes me angry.
