OMG! Major backslide. I knew I wasn't ready to have a conversation with my H. Of course, the refinancing is something he was doing to help me. It had nothing to do with us. How could I have been so dumb? Our conversation was pleasant, but once he felt backed into a corner by my questions he became impatient and wanted to get off the phone. Once I started asking the questions I couldn't stop. I was frustrated that he wouldn't answer. Why did I do that? He said this was one of the problems in our relationship. I'm really trying to understand why there is a communication problem and which one of us is the major source of it. It would really be helpful to go to MC to figure that out, but that's not happening. One of my frustrations is his inability to give a concrete answer. I was asking about what happens after we take care of the business side of our relationship. I really just wanted to hear him say that he sees no future, etc. I went as far as to ask whether he was involved with a specific person and whether he had crossed the line I drew regarding having sex and he wouldn't answer saying "I'm not going to discuss my personal life with you." Why won't he just say it? Then he can be rid of me. The conversation was unemotional on my part. I almost starting laughing it was so comical. We were talking in circles. He would say something that led me to ask a clarifying question and he would back track and become noncommittal. Basically, he is having a hard time saying it's over. It's like it needs to evolve to finality without him saying it. What's that about? I don't understand why he will not give me an answer to will help me decide whether I continue to hope and pray for reconciliation or focus solely on my own healing. Why won't he just close the door if that's what he wants especially since he seems so exasperated by me. I really need to understand is his CA personality the problem or am I asking for too much when I seek clarification? If it's me, I really need to know that. One thing I do know is that when he's done talking I need to let him end the conversation or I need to end it before hand otherwise he sees it as more of the same controlling behavior. Maybe it is. I need to reflect on that. It's hard for me to end communication with him when I feel I didn't get any answers. Is that controlling? I need to know the truth.