Wife says it's to far gone

[25yearsmlc]

In Jan 11, get back from cruise, she wants to tell me how much of a jerk and a## I have been and if no change, she wants out. But, doesn't tell me because she don't want to hurt my feelings. In July 11, wants to have another baby, I'm not ready yet. Never tells me that anything was bugging her. This whole thing just does not make sense. Thought everthing was great, even getting better over the year, I'm so lost.

So you are saying you thought "everything was great"? Really? "Everything"?

She "wants to tell" you but ...did she say you have a temper or she feared your reaction if she hurt your feelings? B/C some of this does not make sense from YOU...


B/c in your first post, YOU said YOU wanted to get counselling b/c of a fatal fire...so YOU cannot have been feeling all that well.

Don't revise the marriage now, to justify not changing. She is revising it so she can justify leaving and she's going to say how Unhappy she has been...but don't do the same thing in the reverse...

to make it all about how crazy/shocking or nutty her choices to leave are,

b/c while you may believe that makes you look better, it just makes
you powerless.

After all, if you really were a great & perfect h and father

and she still wanted out, then what options do you have now? You'd always face the same thing....But no one is perfect...and that's good.

OR
Do you want to be powerless?

Or do you want to know that you have control over something in your life?

B/C you do. You can change YOU and YOUR LIFE...

SO instead of telling us how wacky SHE Is, or how great the marriage was,

tell us what you think you could be working on to become a better man and h.

And in the meantime

know that no woman is unmoved by the loving interaction of her children with their dad. For many of us it's an emotional turn on.

So be the best dad you can be,

for them, for you and for the long term r you'll have with your w - no matter what else happens.