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[JustStunned]

@AprilT: I admit I fussed and fumed for a couple of hours after determining everyone on our old Christmas list received a copy. My friends were very supportive and so has this board been. Thank you! I declined several offers of a copy. What would be the point? What’s done is done. My boss said the letter made her seem nuts. I am taking his impression to indicate she was still in crisis when she sent it.

Yes I have employed skills learned long ago and new methods learned here. Not everyone can earn their EGA, but it is not needed to learn these coping skills or to thrive after passing through.

@Rick:If her intention is to tell herself and other there is no going back, then this is only the most recent occurrence. I agree with you. My father used to tell me when we stop doing, when we stop learning, we start dying.

@KD:Yea, now is not the time to get wound around that axle. We’ve made it far you and I farther than I thought when this began, but I suspect there is a vet or two that knew if only we did the work…

@SS:Thanks!

Know everyone that you can go farther faster if you begin to do the work upon yourself and let your S do whatever they do.

Journaling:My youngest will be moving closer to home. He will be stationed at a recruiting office about 30 minutes drive from my house. There is a duality to this. On one hand I am very very happy I will have a greater chance to spend time with him and get to know his wife and my granddaughter. On the other hand I worry how they will interact with XW and if that relationship will become damaged. I am not spending much energy here at all, still it warrants mentioning. I recognize and acknowledge it is their relationship at risk.

I spoke with him today about the good news. I did not express my concerns about XW. I did let him know I would help him where I could and I would not intrude. I will wait for an invitation to visit. I do want to see them, and IMO this will best occur after they have settled a little.

All week my department has hosted several of our counterpart associates from Germany. They will be setting up a system similar to one we have been working with for many years. We have bumped our heads and stubbed our toes doing this and they hope to avoid some of the pitfalls we discovered. Couple this with interviewing for two open positions in addition to my daily work and it has been a rather busy week.

Friday night my niece and her fiancé will be in town visiting SIL2. There is to be a small family gathering and I have been invited to attend. Then there is the weekend to GAL the sh!t out of. Next week I have business travel to Boston for a few days to meet with information system vendors.

My L called yesterday and encouraged me to move enough 401K money to cover XW portion into a less risky investment. I took his advice and it has been accomplished. The way the decree is structured she is to receive a set amount based on the reported value at the time the degree was filed. A decrease in value now will be painful to me and given some of what is happening elsewhere in the world it seems prudent to secure at least that amount.

Mostly I am good, marking time working upon me until I can begin to move forward again everything in its time. I’ve decided to keep journaling for a time. The sitch I know best is this one perhaps there is still good to be had for someone from it.