I threw out all of H's belongings. When he had me served, I told him I would give him until April 1st to pick everything up and if he didn't I would assume he no longer wanted them and will throw them away. April 1st came and went, he didn't make any attempt to get anything so out they went. I gave him plenty of time to get his things. Almost 14 months to be exact. I'm not a storage facility.
I could have been a B and threw out all of his important documents (birth certificate, SS card, etc) but I didn't want to go that route. Instead I placed them in an envelope and had them sent to where he is living. No contact since the middle of February, and I am ok with that.
I still think about him. I still love and miss him but the hope of us ever reconciling is gone. Too much time has gone by. I am a different person now and finally realize that I am better off.
"Everyone you meet has baggage. Find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack." ¤Formerly DelinquentGurl¤
I'm glad you held your ground and cleared his things out. He had ample time to do it, and not only are you not a storage unit but why should you have to have that constant reminder
You sound good for the most part, and I'm so glad. Take good care of yourself. I'm really glad you checked in.
Just stopping in to say hello to all my fellow DB'ers. I hope everyone is doing well. There are a lot of names I don't recognize, and I apologize if I don't get the chance to read through other people's threads.
Life has been pretty good for the most part. I am so happy that winter is behind us and we are in for warmer weather. H and I are not officially D yet, I'm sure by the end of summer we will be, and I have made peace with it. In fact, I don't want my H back. I never thought I would ever say that, and I just did. I have done a lot, and I mean a lot of soul searching and I realize now that I don't want someone who isn't willing to fight for me or our M. I still love him very much and probably will for a long time if not forever, but I have finally been able to drop the rope.
"Everyone you meet has baggage. Find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack." ¤Formerly DelinquentGurl¤
I haven't read your posts, so I don't know your sitch, but I'm glad that you are at peace with the decision to move on. I am also struggling to determine if I can fight for a relationship with someone who is so willing to let go of our M.
I love my H and always will, but I know that I need someone who is as committed to our M as I am. I'm not sure if he'll ever be that way, so I'm taking it day by day until I decide if I can continue DBing. It's good for me to see that it is possible to drop the rope and still be okay.
M36 XH34 M-5 T7 4/11 H confused 5/11 ILYB 6/11 OW discovered 7/11 I move out, OW over 5/12-OW2,done->new EA, but H wont file 9/12 H "best bf ever" to EA/OW3 3/13 H/OW break up H files 4/13 D 6/18/13
DG, Tis true that there are alot of new faces. Sometimes when I get on here.. it breaks my heart.
But then again... if I hadn't come here, I wouldn't be a stronger better Val... so take the good with the bad.
I'm so glad to hear that you have dropped the rope. I have too for the most part.. there are days when I want to pick it up.
But I remember that unless the I let go of the rope, I won't be living. My best foot forward is one without restraints and without worry of my w's actions and behaviors.
If you need us during the D process, we are here...
...otherwise I wish you all the very best. I know your heart will one day be healed and ready to let someone take care of it once again.
((( )))
M(f): 40 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
