Thank you for all of the replies. This has put me on tilt. I've been doing pretty well this week and now I feel like there's a backslide coming. I need to call my H back and ask all of the necessary questions. I want to keep it business-like, but I've had a hard time doing it before. I need to find the courage to simply ask him how he benefits from the refinancing, but that will lead to a R discussion that I don't want to have. I don't need to hear more of the same hurtful stuff. But really, this is craziness. As far as the refi being a good deal for me, it is on the face of it. Because of the terrible housing market any loan I get with my H or on my own will have PMI. As soon as we have good comps in our area we should be able to get the PMI removed, but I need confirmation of that. Also, I will need something in writing which states that if we refi together I won't be forced too refi on my own once the D is final. See, that's what is so crazy about this. My H was adament that his name be off the loan ASAP and now not only is he willing to have his name on a new loan, but he seems willing to have this loan indefinitely. I'm going to find out how he chose to work with this broker. Maybe the two of them have a hidden agenda.
